The worst has already passed

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When you feel so lonely and can’t sleep at night,
because everything gives you a fright.
The pain and the sadness takes control,
and once again you’re all alone.

Hiding the hurt, hiding the pain
Hiding the tears that fall like rain.
Saying I’m fine, when I’m anything but,
This ache in my soul rips at my gut.
My skin is on fire, I burn from within.
The calm on my face is an ongoing sin.
The world must stay out, I’ve built up a wall.
My fragile lie will collapse should it ever fall.

All the tears cooped up inside,
from all the lies that bleed you dry.
Just one tear shows a million emotions.
It’s all mixed and with terror and devotion!
I devote myself to acting happy,
but at night when I’m all alone,
some how it all spills out,
when no-one can see, and no-one can hear.
All of the pain and all of the fear.

Each day I live, the pain consumes,
What little sanity I have bloomed.
Like walking in a cloud of fog,
Falling down, sinking into smog.

Down in a black hole trying to escape depression,
But you can’t run away from what will always be your reflection.
And as you run away reality is getting nearer,
And instead of changing you, you try to change the mirror.
But what do you do when the mirror falls down?
Breaking apart as it hits the ground.

But now I am stronger; stronger than before.
Because I have realized, fear can only be bad if you imagine it more & more.
And sorrow comes with tears just as gray clouds come with rain,
And then it will pass quicker than it came.
So just be proud you didn’t cut yourself with the mirror’s glass,
And just know that the worst already passed.

©Copyright2016.AbhinavMajumder https://subduedflamboyance.wordpress.com

depression

Beasts that we call human

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Like an apple that has fallen from the tree,
her soul was rotting.
Rotting…Deep in the emotions of the misery,
the feelings that never seemed to be setting her free.
You could say others have had it worse than her,
but until you take a few steps in the worn out path of her misery,
with the burdens she carried, only then can you unravel her mystery.
The scars always there never to vanish,
never to be repaired.
The physical pain may have vanquished,
but the emotional pain will always lay stagnant in her mind,
The pain that she endured through her teenage
made permanent cracks in the building blocks of her foundation,
to make her suffer the bitterness that was left behind,
forever in her mind.

She heard the footsteps approaching her,
And something inside her screamed this time it really isn’t right.
The words he was saying were ruthless and cruel,
And each time he hit her she sat there and obeyed each and every rule. Too strong, he was….physically.

Each and every swing felt worse and worse,
And then all she wanted was to be dead in a hearse.
He threw against the wall then proceeded to pin her to the ground
He hit her again, covered the mouth, not letting her make a sound.

She started to struggle and tried to release herself of his forceful grip.
Then the next thing she heard was a loud, horrifying rip
His hands were cold and she cringed at first touch.
She closed her eyes wishing the time would just pass by
And that next time she opened them she would be up in the sky
He pushed harder and harder and excruciating pain was all she felt
The next thing she heard was the unbuckling of his belt.

Something happened inside of her that she cannot explain,
She got this surge of energy and said, “F you, coward”
But the dirty mud was clawing under her nails,
The pain increased by seconds.
Pain thriving up her body,
Screams so loud,
She thought anyone would hear.
Anyone would,
should have heard her sorrow filled cries,
But no one came.
He lingered,
Tearing off clothes,
faster than the light shining down.
Tears poured out of her eyes,
Begging,
Pleading for him to stop,
But the pain only grew,
Till his pursue was finished with her.
The pain entering,
Was like ripping knives,
Like getting cut by a blade, when it heals,
It still leaves a scar.
The pain torched on her was inhumane,
Made by a soulless creature, a beast.
But there she still lay. Wilting. Crying.
Still begging for the help,
That never came. The help….that…..never came….

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Copyright ©2016 AbhinavMajumder http://www.subdudedflamboyance.wordpress.com

That’s all I see…..Darkness…..

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Like a plague that never goes away,
Or a wild animal and its prey,
It waits…
And waits….

Man walking toward a cross formed by light reflecting off the grungy walls of an underground culvert.

And waits……..

Until you’re ready,
Then closes in and devours you…
From the inside out.
All you see is shadows of the ones you once knew,
Happiness no more,
Laughter no more,
No more love,
Like a thunderstorm that blocks your soul.
Your soul becomes a black hole,
Whatever said, heard, or learned,
Is forgotten, never brought up again,
No longer does anything matter,
Its all darkness,

Darkness is all I see
Like a plague that never goes away.

Copyright ©2015 AbhinavMajumder http://www.subdudedflamboyance.wordpress.com